This would be funny if it wasn't so sad. This is what happens when you
don't use an NFB cane and get proper training at one of our Centers. I
don't want to pollute the listserve, but Linda and I thought you guys
should see the attached message. I am giving it to Dr. Jernigan and Mr.
Maurer. Harold Snider
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sun, 08 Sep 1996 19:00:16 -0500
From: "Sandi C. Postle" <scpost@eosinc.com>
To: 76521.1325@compuserve.com
Cc: Stephanie Hawk <sthawk@siue.edu>, kayracer@aol.com,
Judy Matsuoka <jmatsuoka@aristotle.net>, dickison@netjax.com,
hsnider@clark.net
Subject: [Fwd: I thought I had problems!]
Hopw you enjoy this one!
I laughed til my side ached!
Sandi
attached mail follows:
Just thought you'd all like to read this. yes, yet another installment in
"Mobility in the real world!" from the guide dog list. This lady is at
the orientation Center for the Blind in Albany Ca, I believe. She does
have a guide dog but is going back for some mobility training after a
significant sight loss. enjoy!
Jenine McKeown
Jeninems@infinet.com
Project Director
Project CAT! Coordinating Accessible Transportation
mr_jjm@ohio.gov
http://www.infinet.com/~jeninems
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sun, 8 Sep 1996 15:42:39 +0000
From: Swan <Syren@worldnet.att.net>
To: Dog Guide International Mailing List <BUDDY-L@scs.tamu.edu>
Subject: Re: O&M instructors and parapetologists.
You mention the difficulty in cane technique. Boy, do I know what you mean!
MY big problem is arm positioning. I have to hold my hand dead center of my
body, extend my arm outward and take the weight of that heavy (heavy!!)
straight cane on my wrist with one finger pointing down the shaft of the
cane and pivoting the wrist back and forth while the arm remains immobile. Ouch!
The problem I have is that I have (shall we be charitable here?.... Naaaah!)
bodacious ta-tas.. humongous jugs... er... a large chestal area! So that
arm comes forward and I center my hand and squish my left feminine
attribute. The arm trembles... cramps start up, the hand shakes and finally
I switch to the right hand (I'm ambidextrous), the right arm comes in, and
now the *right* gazoobie gets HER share of the discomfort!
Now you try walking down the street in a straight line when your own arm is
shoving your chest South... or North...! I've tried flattening my chest
under my arm, but having spent my teenage years trying to "plump them up" I
*really* do think that's a bit counterproductive. I do NOT want to spend the
mobility session doing isometrics! When I put my arm under my protruberances
I look like I'm coming down the street *boasting*! "Hey, everybody! Looka
what *I* got!!". Not to mention that if my arm nestles underneath, the cane
looks as if it's sprouting from the center of my chest! "Golly, Martha, I
never knew MARTIANS went blind!".
Now hitting a crack with that cane tip is another lovely experience! The
tip slams into the crack and wedges there, sending vibrations up the rigid
shaft of the cane and transferring the shock of impact directly to my solar
plexus (if my technique is correct) or my ribcage (if it isnt) or even my
poor abused womanly charms (if I'm REALLY truckin!). I can just see the
headlines! "Blind Woman Perforated By Mobility Cane! Suicide ruled out,
instructor held for questioning."
Now let's address the "two point" technique! Pardon me, but I prefer my two
points to be in BASKETBALL, thank you! Here's the deal... I'm supposed
to take a cane tip... about three fourths of an inch wide right? and tap
briskli at an area of the sidewalk. Think about this. The tip strikes
diagonally, placing a section of the tip about an eighth or a quarter inch
wide on a glancing blow at the pavement. THIS gives me an indication of the
terrain my tender tootsies are about to traverse! My entire mind screams
that I should *investigate* this area I am about to commit my entire weight
to. My desire is to stop and familiarize myself with this spot before I
step, but NOOOOOO! ON we go, the cane tip, that precious eighth of an inch
between me and grisly death, is swinging through space heading for that next
concrete kiss-off! Never mind that there is a yawning chasm (complete with
alligators and mountain lions) approximately a mile in depth, which rests
directly between the tow points that cane tip encountered and my next step
is certain to carry me into an agonizing death! I don't THINK so!
So I acquire the so-called "marshmallow tip". Marshmallows. I've seen
marshmallows! They're soft. they're puffy and cushiony. I LIKE marshmallows.
they taste good and are light and airy. I get the cane back from the
instructor. It now possesses a blob of concrete, roughly the size of a small
doorknob at the tip. It's heavy! My first encounter with a sidewalk crack
following the acquisition of that marshmallow demonstrates to me (with
considerable punch) that this is NOT a marshmallow!
I have finally figured out the perfect mobility aid. In fact, it prevents
all; such incidents. the collisions with cracks, the squashed mammaries, the
alligator pit directly ahead... I plan to use it at every opportunity. It's
called a taxicab!
Overhead obstacles? Getting lost in parking lots while the instructor takes
pictures that will be sent to your next of kin just for giggles? Learning
the technique of bashing various portions of your anatomy while NOT swearing
like a cheezed off longshoreman in a cussing contest? Going up and down
stairs like a Watusi washerwoman, one hand glancing off the rails when you
wnat to cling like a terrified limpet? Knowing... just KNOWING that your
name inspires gasps of mirth in the Mobility Room when the instructors
gather over coffee? And just how DID you manage to get up onto that ten foot
wall section ANYWAY? These are ALL aspects of mobility training that DON'T
make it into that glossy bruchure from the center! I am virtually CERTAIN
that someday I'll be wealthy! That clip of me bouncing off the side of a bus
into the shrubbery while yelling "HEY! I HAD the light!!" with my
marshmallow tip caroming off of my poor abused boobs will, in fact WIN the
prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos"! And all this time I thought my
instructor didn't care! I'm touched.
And the N F B says that cane travel is superior to guide dogs. We won't go
into the psychosexual mechanics of the desire for pain, thank you. Let's
just say that I would NOT be surprised to find, adorning the earthly
remains of an N F B cane enthusiast, a medallion which reads:
"I AM A MASOCHIST! In case of accident, wait a half an hour and THEN call a
doctor!"
It could happen!
Sylvia and Delsie, NOT a marshmallow tip!
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