Things seemed a little slow here on the reflector, so...
> > 30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life:
> > -- Joe Mullich, AmericanWay Magazine, 11/15/94.
> >
> > 1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book.
> > The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line
> > services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of
> > the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded
> > that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.
> >
> > 2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one
> > device on your body beep or buzz.
> >
> > 3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't
> > because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with
> > laser printers.
> >
> > 4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget
> > to send your father a birthday card.
> >
> > 5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.
> >
> > 6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson
> > talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the
> > next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the
> > salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
> >
> > 7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without
> > thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.
> >
> > 8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the
> > phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and
> > you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
> >
> > 9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own
> > social security number.
> >
> > 10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number,"
> > since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged
> > into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
> >
> > 11. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.
> >
> > 12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols
> > that are far more clever than :-).
> >
> > 13. You back up your data every day.
> >
> > 14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and
> > you return with a rest for your mouse.
> >
> > 15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
> >
> > 16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages
> > faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.
> >
> > 17. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely
> > enters your mind.
> >
> > 18. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot's phrase
> > "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information
> > superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses
> > hand-drawn pie charts.
> >
> > 19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit
> > hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to your house
> > without looking up the street names.
> >
> > 20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
> >
> > 21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you
> > something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand that
> > you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information
> > about the product it is selling.
> >
> > 22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a- quarter-and
> > three-and-a-half-inch sizes.
> >
> > 23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow.
> >
> > 24. You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where
> > they are.
> >
> > 25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia
> > surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a
> > nine-year-old.
> >
> > 26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough
> > to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead
> > of feeling compelled to make something up.
> >
> > 27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
> > tires.
> >
> > 28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
> > own turns bread into charcoal.
> >
> > 29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different
> > opinions about which is better -- the track ball or the track *pad*.
> >
> > 30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend,
> > technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that
> > you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
> >
> > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
> >
> > 31. You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never get
> > around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone.
> > In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.
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